removing "tired" from your life

removing "tired" from your life

“Tired” is one of those red flag, meaningless words that we use to sugarcoat our disappointment.

OK OK OKAY, maybe not ALWAYS. Yeah. Sure. You’re legit tired sometimes.

But. 

95% of the time. 

“Tired” is a sad, corrosive lens we live our life from.

“I’m just really tired today,” I said to my mom on a quick phone call. No. I was lying. I was feeling terrified and heartbroken and fragile and not really all that interested in getting into it. 

Best to just say I’m tired.

If you are chronically tired, you lack a general enthusiasm for living.

When are you going to declare this a personal crisis?

Are you going to wait until it’s declared a global crisis by some public figure or government? God, I hope not. Let’s declare it now.

“But I have so much to do,” we moan. 

And “I’m overwhelmed” is just as bankrupt as “I’m tired.”

(It took a full-blown 4 day emotional meltdown in 2016 for me to learn this, legit parading around my Brooklyn brownstone screaming “I’m so overwhelmed!!!!!” to everyone in my life as I cried and cried).

We wear busyness and burnout like badges of pride, as if we’re supposed to be running around, exhausted, proving our worthiness and value to the world.

“How are you?” “Soooo stressed.” “Life’s sooo crazy.” “OMG so busy.” “TIRED.”

Celebrating an anxious lifestyle has become normalized. It is another deep disfunction of capitalism.

It actually takes massive, massive courage to choose to commit to a life that is free of “too busy.”

It is a created life.

It is counter-culture. Subversive. Radical. 

This is how we get from talking about being happy, to actually being happy.

This is how we get from talking about being free, to actually being free.

Yesterday I did an energy session with my teacher. We connect to Source and I got this image of being a male slave in another life. Beaten and whipped. I had a full blown trigger attack when I tapped into this — nauseous, stomach in knots, ancestral rage ripping through me. 

When I asked Source, “How is this serving me now?” The hit I got was: “It’s why freedom really matters to you. And why teaching freedom is your life’s purpose.”

(This is an oath I completed, cleared, and am longer be “chained to” as of last night. But I digress…)

How did we to this crazy fuckin’ imagery? I started with one complaint in this session. The one I know is BANKRUPT: 

“I’m overwhelmed.”

I’ve been having some serious anxiety around taking on bigger projects and bigger games this fall. My calendar is already jammed and I’m scheduling dinner dates for October. I’m seeing more clients than ever, building several businesses, writing 5 albums with both clients and myself…. 

And I’m not really willing to do it without total joy and total space for everything I want my life to hold. 

OK. So. HOW TO DO THIS:

🤮STOP GIVING YOUR ATTENTION TO BELIEFS THAT HURT YOU. There’s no value in giving your attention to your fatigue. Every time you give your attention to “tired” and you don’t want to be “tired,” you practice the vibration of it and you are no longer letting it be easy. And life becomes hard. And life becomes hard because your beliefs are rooted in “tired.” You’re beating the drum of “tired.” YOU’RE THE ONE INGRAINING IT INTO YOU. Be responsible for this.

✅CREATE A NEW REALITY. Like for real. You just keep looking at “what is,” and it keeps holding you where you are in your reality. Instead, create a new reality. You do this with simple thoughts. Simple thoughts like:

➡️“I’m really really good at managing my time.”
➡️“My dreams are so worthy of taking up all my time.”
➡️“Never before in all of the universe has there been more access to me doing whatever I want to do with my time.”

Those beliefs are also factual and true, and they don’t hurt when you think them. They don’t feel bad to you.

🚫“But isn’t it possible that I’m just doing too much?”

You’re never going to convince me that you can’t have everything you want. You just hold beliefs that are in your way.

You must own EVERYTHING in your life. It is all information for you. YOU are the Creator. Do whatever it takes to get a bigger belief. Do whatever it takes to improve the flow. Make it all work. Make it all work the way YOU WANT IT TO BE. 

Why would you settle for less? You’re the only one in your way. Ew, don’t give the credit or the power to anyone else but you.

XO

on our obsession with relationships

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 I had to quit my gym.

I couldn’t take it anymore. The classes were nice, the sauna was great, the pool was huge. There was nothing "wrong" with the place.

But the music. The goddamn music.

Unending streams of...
🤯 “Baby baby please / why’d you leave me?” 
🤢“I’m broken and empty inside without you” 
🤮“When I kissed you/ that’s when I knew/ I'm nothing without you”

I COULDN'T STAND IT. The frequency of those thought patterns.... just toss a wet blanket over me. It’s such a suffocating thought that someone else completes you.

NO. You complete you.

We are obsessed with relationships. We’re addicts. We are fixated on thinking this other mysterious, magical person is going to complete us. Make us feel whole. Love us to a state of permanence in "that way" Mom or Dad never could.

IT IS A LIE. OUR ENTIRE DISNEY, FAIRY TALE, HOLLYWOOD SOCIETY IS LYING TO US AND WE'VE ALL BEEN DUPED

There is one life-saving relationship. One relationship that needs your oxygen mask on. That is your relationship with yourself.

Usually, we only deal with our relationship with ourselves out of a crisis, or catastrophic breakup — and even then, we are desperately Tindering our way to the next one.

It is painful to look at yourself. No shit.

Romantic relationships function for two reasons:

1. Learning lessons
And
2. Having fun

If you are doing anything other than that, it is time to look at the state of your relationship.

Marriage is beautiful. Commitment is powerful. Stable families are critical.

It's also helpful to remember that the genesis of marriage was pretty much… “Hey, let me make this woman my property so I can rape her whenever I want.” If your marriage is not consciously created, with an intentional commitment constantly being re-presenced, it’s too easy to fall back into old programming of “You complete me! And now I’m unhappy because of something you did!”

No. Your partner is never responsible for your happiness. EVER. Ever. Ever. And when you take responsibility for his feelings or happiness, you are taking away a piece of him, leaving him helpless.

Here are a few actionable nuggets to radically elevate the vibration of your relationship:

🌻START TO ACCEPT YOUR PARTNER, CRUSH, SPOUSE EXACTLY AS HE IS. This is not a lofty concept. This is something that comes naturally out of being settled, complete, dare I say IN LOVE with yourself. If you can't do this, either break up and find someone you can accept or do the work with a coach/energy expert to learn how to be accepting. It is an unmet need YOU have that causes you not to accept the people you claim you love.

🌻BEGIN TO LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER, CRUSH, SPOUSE AS "SOURCE" -- MEANING, IF HE SAYS IT, IT IS RIGHT. HE IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR BRILLIANCE. You don’t need evidence. You don’t need proof. You respect him so much that anything he says about you, you CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to make right. From “You’re so brilliant” to “You’re so lazy for leaving that dish in the sink” (they might be in the same breath, right?).

🌻GET REAL ABOUT HOW CONTROLLING YOU ARE. “Take care of me — my way.” “Listen to me — my way.” There is nothing wrong with how he loves you. YOU are actually CONTROLLING and MANIPULATING him when you do this.

Now — 2 more points on this:

💥If you’re the only person in a relationship that’s doing any kind of self-development, you’re probably the only one that’ll feel the impact of anything left unsaid, undistinguished, or unprocessed. It is not your responsibility to manage that other person’s stuff. This may be enough to end a relationship and find one that's more on your frequency.

And —

💥 The only damn point of all of this is: to have 100% autonomy over your joy and your life. This isn’t about NOT being in relationships. This isn't about forcing something that feels hard. This is about getting to the vibrational root of your unbridled joy.

As you think, you vibrate. As you vibrate, you feel emotion.

You must begin to think thoughts that are rooted in YOUR happiness. YOUR joy. You are not a reaction to other people, even the people you love.

YOU are the creator.

This whole entire world is made up. It is a reality that begins in your thoughts.

So… that's why I quit the gym.

worry is an attack on your survival.

source:  Kallen Mikel

source: Kallen Mikel

Let’s talk about worry. There's a chance you're addicted to it.

Well, the addiction is actually to stress and drama. The emotion that manifests is worry.

Many of us do not know how to live without worry.

Even worse, you may be trapped in one of those dirty belief systems that teaches you that you're being irresponsible if you're not worrying. EW!

It's important to distinguish your worry from your responsibilities.

Basic example: you can be responsible for your bills without worrying if you can pay them.

Dare I say... you can even NOT have the means to pay your bills and release the worry about paying them (that's some high level shit!!).

Worry is just totally exhausting for your body. It lives in the stomach. Constant worry can manifest into Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Worry is an attack on your survival.

OK, SO JUST FOR TODAY:

➿Notice your worry. Distill the emotion of worry from the actual responsibility.

➿Quietly say to yourself: "I know what it feels like to live without worry."

(NOTE: Just thinking this statement won't train the subconscious mind. You must speak it into existence. It will feel absurd to do this at first. Do it anyway.)

** Heads up, I have room to work one-on-one with 2 more women this quarter. We uplevel + release that subconscious shit that keeps you from your greatest vision. You know, the one that makes you uncomfortable to even say aloud.

Book a call if you want to start that dialogue. It's a great gift to give yourself. xo

stunning art by Kallen Mikel Art

re: the attack of women via the "fetal heartbeat" bill

Who in your life needs a slice of this cake?

It is now illegal for women to have an abortion, yet it is often expected for men to leave the woman he impregnates.

Result: oppression of women, perpetuation of poverty.

A woman can now face the death penalty for having an abortion, and the man who rapes and forcibly impregnates her will NOT face the death penalty (unless he is black or brown, of course).

Result: total control and domination of a woman’s body.

Inside the “first heartbeat detection” bill, child support at first heartbeat is not a thing.

Split payment of medical bills does not begin at first heartbeat, either.

Result: oppression of woman, perpetuation of poverty.

If I am pregnant, anti-abortion folks would fight viciously for my baby to be born but once born, fight to make it harder to receive the healthcare that would continue to keep her alive.

These are laws written and passed by men who are obsessed with controlling women.

These are laws written and passed by lawmakers committed to perpetuating poverty.

*THIS IS NOT A “PRO LIFE VS PRO CHOICE” CONVERSATION. THIS IS A VIBRATIONAL CONTROL OF WOMEN AND POVERTY THAT HAS BEEN CONDITIONED INTO OUR DNA FOR EONS AND GETS RE-WIRED HUMAN-TO-HUMAN*

Saying this is a bipartisan/GOP/liberal/political debate is like dangling a shiny toy. It’s a distraction. It’s a symptom to the true disease underneath.

If you are a man who is anti-abortion, do not have sex with women. This is a 100% effective method.

You’re also welcome to get a vascectomy.

If you have sex with a woman you are consenting to her having an abortion if you get her pregnant and she chooses not to continue the pregnancy.

How many men’s opinions would change if they actually had to take responsibility?