I had to quit my gym.
I couldn’t take it anymore. The classes were nice, the sauna was great, the pool was huge. There was nothing "wrong" with the place.
But the music. The goddamn music.
Unending streams of...
🤯 “Baby baby please / why’d you leave me?”
🤢“I’m broken and empty inside without you”
🤮“When I kissed you/ that’s when I knew/ I'm nothing without you”
I COULDN'T STAND IT. The frequency of those thought patterns.... just toss a wet blanket over me. It’s such a suffocating thought that someone else completes you.
NO. You complete you.
We are obsessed with relationships. We’re addicts. We are fixated on thinking this other mysterious, magical person is going to complete us. Make us feel whole. Love us to a state of permanence in "that way" Mom or Dad never could.
IT IS A LIE. OUR ENTIRE DISNEY, FAIRY TALE, HOLLYWOOD SOCIETY IS LYING TO US AND WE'VE ALL BEEN DUPED
There is one life-saving relationship. One relationship that needs your oxygen mask on. That is your relationship with yourself.
Usually, we only deal with our relationship with ourselves out of a crisis, or catastrophic breakup — and even then, we are desperately Tindering our way to the next one.
It is painful to look at yourself. No shit.
Romantic relationships function for two reasons:
1. Learning lessons
2. Having fun
If you are doing anything other than that, it is time to look at the state of your relationship.
Marriage is beautiful. Commitment is powerful. Stable families are critical.
It's also helpful to remember that the genesis of marriage was pretty much… “Hey, let me make this woman my property so I can rape her whenever I want.” If your marriage is not consciously created, with an intentional commitment constantly being re-presenced, it’s too easy to fall back into old programming of “You complete me! And now I’m unhappy because of something you did!”
No. Your partner is never responsible for your happiness. EVER. Ever. Ever. And when you take responsibility for his feelings or happiness, you are taking away a piece of him, leaving him helpless.
Here are a few actionable nuggets to radically elevate the vibration of your relationship:
🌻START TO ACCEPT YOUR PARTNER, CRUSH, SPOUSE EXACTLY AS HE IS. This is not a lofty concept. This is something that comes naturally out of being settled, complete, dare I say IN LOVE with yourself. If you can't do this, either break up and find someone you can accept or do the work with a coach/energy expert to learn how to be accepting. It is an unmet need YOU have that causes you not to accept the people you claim you love.
🌻BEGIN TO LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER, CRUSH, SPOUSE AS "SOURCE" -- MEANING, IF HE SAYS IT, IT IS RIGHT. HE IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR BRILLIANCE. You don’t need evidence. You don’t need proof. You respect him so much that anything he says about you, you CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to make right. From “You’re so brilliant” to “You’re so lazy for leaving that dish in the sink” (they might be in the same breath, right?).
🌻GET REAL ABOUT HOW CONTROLLING YOU ARE. “Take care of me — my way.” “Listen to me — my way.” There is nothing wrong with how he loves you. YOU are actually CONTROLLING and MANIPULATING him when you do this.
Now — 2 more points on this:
💥If you’re the only person in a relationship that’s doing any kind of self-development, you’re probably the only one that’ll feel the impact of anything left unsaid, undistinguished, or unprocessed. It is not your responsibility to manage that other person’s stuff. This may be enough to end a relationship and find one that's more on your frequency.
💥 The only damn point of all of this is: to have 100% autonomy over your joy and your life. This isn’t about NOT being in relationships. This isn't about forcing something that feels hard. This is about getting to the vibrational root of your unbridled joy.
As you think, you vibrate. As you vibrate, you feel emotion.
You must begin to think thoughts that are rooted in YOUR happiness. YOUR joy. You are not a reaction to other people, even the people you love.
YOU are the creator.
This whole entire world is made up. It is a reality that begins in your thoughts.
So… that's why I quit the gym.